Thursday, September 2, 2010

No Pity, Please

You hear different things when you're a special needs parent. I hear a lot of "Oh." and "I'm sorry." Those ones I don't mind too much, but the one that really bugs me is "I feel sorry for him."

The last time someone said this to me, I said, "Don't. Dakin's happy as he can be."

And really, he is. I mean, what's to be pitied? Sure, he can't walk or breathe on his own, BUT:

He is surrounded by things intended to fire his imagination and spark his interest.
He is encircled by people who love him.
He has a warm, safe place to sleep.
He has healthy food (or as healthy as we can get him to eat, anyway. :) )
He is read to.
He is sung to.
He is cuddled when he cries.
He is spoken to in kind voices.
He has a mother who lives at his beck and call.
He has a father who plays with him.
He is taken to wonderful places, like the zoo, the library and Whole Foods (which is my idea of heaven!!)
He is included.
He is understood.
He has people who pray for him.
He has grandparents who adore him.
He gets to watch his favorite shows.
He is encouraged.
He is snuggled.
He lives in a clean home.
He is taught.
He wears clean clothes.
He regularly sees his doctors.
He is played with.
He laughs.
He smiles.
He has a sense of humor.
He has wonderful nurses.
He is safe in his home.
Those around him have Germ-X in the blood now from efforts to keep him healthy.
He has people who have sacrificed for him.
He has everything he needs.
He is laughed with.

And perhaps most importantly, he is deeply, fiercely and immensely loved.

I could go on and on and on. I don't think it's any secret that there are far, far too many children who don't have a tenth of the things Dakin does. So no need to feel sorry, shop check-out lady or waitress. Just look at his smile. It tells the whole tale.


Foster mama K said...

Dakin is such a ham..I havent posted a comment lately, but I read every post your write. You are 100% right no one should pitty him. He is totally happy! :)

Junior said...

I feel exactly the same way about Junior. No pity needed.

Colleen said...

Well said. There are some kids out there without special needs who probably don't get the love and care your little guy gets. Dakin is such a lucky boy!

Victoria Strong said...

Love to you and to Dakin! Yes, he is a very, very, very loved little boy (and so are his Mommy and Daddy!!!)

April said...

Here here! Well said friend! :)

Kristy said...

Your little one truly is blessed to have such a wonderful family, as I know you feel blessed to have him.

Kristen said...

In many ways, Dakin is so lucky! You forgot to say that he has an amazing mother ready to go to the ends of the earth for him : )

Zoey's mom said...

What an amazing post.Echos what so many of us feel.thes children are such indescribable gifts.To everyone.If only they would open their hearts and minds and look beyond the ignorance.

I recently had someone say she was "sorry" when I told her I had a daughter with Down syndrome.Zoey wasn't with me.I replied ..."Don't be sorry for me.Envy me.Be jealous.She is the best thing that ever happened to u."

Have a great weekend and please know I will still be checking in.How could I not.You and your little guy have a piece of my heart.

Sky said...

very very well said!!! and his eyes, they tell you so much!!!! Hugs Sheila and Sky

Dana said...


These kids have tons.

I think they also know HEavenly Father on a personal level that we can only strive for.

His seems to always be HAPPY!

Have a good week!

Kase and Jules said...

You go girl :) Dakin is da bomb!

Sapna said...


Azure said...

Very well said. And what a very very lucky, well-loved, handsome, and sweet little guy he is with an equally incredible family to match!
People just don't know what to say when they don't have experience with or know a special needs child. Unfortunately, it is difficult for them to see beyond the surface and have no idea just how profoundly these little people enrich the lives of everyone that is blessed to know them. Posts like this area a great way to help them understand!